Ukiyo Handroll Bar
On a corner in Covent Garden, sits Ukiyo. You enter the glass doors to an open bar area with people perched on high top chairs in a classic horseshoe bar where servers work away preparing and serving the various dishes. This lovely location was not where we were seated.
We made a sharp right and then left down the stairs to the basement. One comment on basement seating. Basements in social public situations such as this are useful for only three purposes; 1. for intimate rendes vous with the person you intend to aggressively flirt with in the low lights, 2. to dance like a fool where no one can in fact watch you because no can in fact see you, and 3. for dodgy dealings or escapades that play with the line with what is and isn’t in fact legal.
I am growing to detest darkness when having a civilised meal with my best friends. It’s the same feeling as being in a pub where they crank the volume up and you end up shouting at your party like you’re trying to have a conversation while on the jubilee line. It’s futile and frustrating.
My party and I had come here for one thing; handrolls. Dead giveaway since it’s in the name and we’d have not unfounded expectations that handrolls would be their outstanding dish.
No, dear reader. They were not.
A King Crab roll runs for £25. The size? No bigger than my index finger. We only had three hand rolls each - I quickly changed tack an opted for cheaper options. However, we were still hungry. Seriously, it was like I hadn’t eaten anything. I had eaten extremely expensive air. I can’t even tell you want it tasted like it was nothing. I would have had a longer experience from eating a crab stick.
We opted for some hand cut rolls which were honestly far better in terms of food content and flavour.
The bill was enraging. As I’d been the fool who had ordered one of the most expensive items of the menu my portion of the bill was over £70. I could have cried in misery. I was hungry and I had been basically robbed.
Maybe I should have heeded warning of the low lighting - this was purpose number three in full force.
Never again.